How to pick a therapist (and how to know if this is the right one for you)

You’re likely reading this blog because you’ve begun the process of researching potential therapists. Maybe you’re ready to take the first step in making therapy a part of your life. Maybe you’ve tried therapy in the past but are ready to give it a second go. Maybe you’re just curious.

You’ve come to Hartley Psychotherapy already having some idea about what therapy is and what you’re looking for. But while major changes in the conversation about mental health in public society has made it easier than ever to recognize the signs of mental illness and have access to resources to resolve these problems, it has also made the task of getting started in therapy quite daunting. It’s hard to know these days what is right, what’s misinformation, and what is a TikTok trend. That’s where these blogs come in handy. We want you to get the most out of a session at Hartley Psychotherapy, so we welcome you to read these before booking a consultation or even after beginning the process. We hope that they will be informative, thought-provoking, and be a trusted resource you can turn to in navigating the world of therapy.

Therapy is highly personal. There are lots of things to consider when choosing the right therapist. One of the most important things to consider is whether you’ll be able to be open and honest with the therapist. Therapy often brings up difficult memories, feelings and experiences, but if you’re able to be open, honest and build trust with your therapist, this is a strong predictor of good outcomes—and you ultimately feeling better.

Before booking a full appointment, most therapists offer a short consult call to get a sense of the client-therapist dynamic and whether you and they will be a good fit for each other. These calls are often short—usually 15 minutes--but super important for determining next steps. The therapist will ask you some questions about yourself and what brings you to seek therapy, and you should be ready to ask some questions too. You are interviewing the therapist just as much as they are interviewing you. While every therapist can be good at their job, not every therapist will necessarily be the best fit for you.

The first step, then, is to figure out what you might want out of therapy and how you think a therapist can help. To finish off this first blog, then, here are five things to think about before you set up your consult call:

What do you want to get out of therapy?

When we think of therapy, sometimes we think about it like taking medication for an illness. And that’s not a bad way to think of it. Doctors sometimes talk about “prescribing” therapy the way they might prescribe a pharmaceutical treatment. However, thinking about therapy this way has the side effect of suggesting to people that they have to do therapy for a specific outcome. And in some cases, like in the case of a specific phobia, the goal of therapy is a noticeable behavioural change, like no longer being afraid of something. But sometimes the goals of therapy might not be so concrete.

All of this to say: What we mean by “What do you want to get out of therapy?” we mostly just mean that it’s okay to have an idea of what you want therapy to be for you. That could be something specific, like managing tough social situations or overcoming a phobia, but it could also be something much less defined like just wanting to feel generally ok, or to understand yourself in a deeper, more compassionate way. Therapy isn’t about the finish line, it’s about practice and growth.

So you don’t need to have all the answers about your mental health, that’s what a therapist can be helpful with. During a consult call, the therapist is likely to ask you what is bringing you to therapy or what you’d like to explore. But you don’t need to wait for the therapist to tell you what you want therapy to be for you, and it’s ok to be direct when you feel like the therapist is suggesting a different approach from what you want.

When you’ve thought a bit about what a positive therapeutic experience might look like for you, it’ll be easier to vocalize that desire in the consult call and evaluate whether this therapist is the right fit for you. .

What does this therapist specialize in?

Therapists are like doctors: some of them are trained in special areas, some are generalists. Most therapists will treat a range of mood disorders (that’s anxiety and depression, among others), but some also specialize in trauma, relationships, eating disorders, and phobias.

Again, you don’t need to be the expert on your own mental health, and you might not know exactly what’s wrong going into the consult call. But if you do have a specific problem, it’s worth paying attention to those specializations the therapist brings.

What modality of therapy are you looking for?

Related to the second question, it’s important to research what modality this therapist works in. But what does that even mean? Let me explain. Like doctors, therapists usually specialize in specific therapeutic modalities. Therapeutic modalities are evidence-based methods and techniques for treating mental health issues. You’ve likely heard of some therapeutic modalities before like cognitive behavioural therapy or acceptance and commitment therapy. Depending on what modality your therapist uses, it will change the approach to treatment and the therapy experience.

What sets Hartley psychotherapy apart from most clinics is that it is grounded in psychodynamic psychotherapy. Psychodynamic therapists put a great deal of emphasis on treating the root causes of symptoms. Psychodynamic psychotherapy is a depth-oriented, evidence-based approach to therapy that fosters insight into your thoughts, behaviours and emotions. By uncovering the sources of our patterns and drawing out the connections between past experiences and current psychological state, this leads to lasting and meaningful change. In the next blog, we will cover the specifics of what to expect from your first psychodynamic appointment

How much time are you able to commit to therapy?

Therapy can be an intense process, but it’s important to take it seriously. Research shows that success in therapy comes from the patient first. That means that the more you put into this process, the more you’re going to get out of it. Meaningful therapeutic change depends on a sustained commitment over time and a willingness to stay with the process.

Do you prefer online or in-person sessions?

A much simpler question to answer is how do you want to practice therapy and what does the clinic offer? At Hartley Psychotherapy, we can offer you in-person, virtual, and phone appointments. This might seem trivial in some ways but remember that you will be putting yourself into a vulnerable and fragile position. Therapy can be hard, and the space you do it in can be just as important as who you do it with. That is going to look different for different people. Some people feel safe at home, others might need that physical human connection to be able to open fully. Think about what might work best for you and be ready to switch it up if what you’re doing isn’t working.

The next step:

When you feel ready to take the next step towards therapy, it’s time to book a consultation call. This initial conversation is a chance for both you and the therapist to get a sense of whether working together feels like a good fit. It’s also an opportunity for you to learn more about the therapist and how they work. Therapists will be ready to answer any questions or concerns you may have about therapy.